Gathered Gold

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A Letter to my God

I know that my Redeemer liveth, my heart cries out to be near Him at this time as I look towards the cross. What right have I to say that I am in pain when I look to Him and see an innocent sacrifice with His body stapled to a tree? No man ever suffered more physically, mentally or spiritually than my Christ did for me. I see his shattered torso writhing in agony for my every sin. Oh Lord my God have mercy upon me. Oh my soul give thanks unto the Lord for He has shed me white, yea whiter than the snow.

My thoughts turn to Guidie (a brother in Christ who had recently died) at this time. Did You take home away because I was beginning to rely on his advice than on You? Oh thou whom my soul lovest grant me grace to love Thee more and more and help me walk with God. I know that I am here but for a short time, until You call me to be with Thee, but in the days remaining help me to glorify Thy Holy Name. My faith in Thee has never died yet so often I doubt when I see the vileness of my own heart, a putrefying sore that never heals. Create a clean heart, Lord renew a right spirit me within. As I look around these four walls you have provided me with all the things that I need, yet I do not belong here, what does this mean? Have I ever done thy Holy Name justice in this world? Dear Jesus, please come in and sit with me today, for You alone can stop this pain. I see now that if I did not have this burden, my mind would most probably be on worldly things and I would not be in such a beautiful fellowship with Thee. Thank you God.

What an amazing sacrifice, one God, one man, carrying an eternity of sin in one body. Who would stand if this had not been done? I think of all my catholic friends that I have. Will you not in Thy mercy turn them from their idolatry and may Thy precious blood not be shed for them in vain.

They blood had cleansed me from my appalling body of sin; it has opened my heart, mind, ears, eyes and conscience to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Why me Lord? I have done nothing to deserve this honour. What is the reason of my calling? I donít feel worthy to be a joint heir with Christ, but there again I am looking in, forgive me Lord. I wish that my walk would reflect the image of my Saviour and that many would know in whom I have believed. I feel as though I have a Jeckle and Hyde character. The inner man who revels and joys and desires the beauty of holiness. There is also the corrupt body with its never-ending demands for evils pursuits. I hope as I grow in grace that this body would decay and that the beauty of holiness would shine through for all to see. I would wish that every thought would be censored before becoming an action, so that all my actions would glorify and honour Thy Holy Name. I would like one day to say like Paul, "For I have learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content."